Falling Apart
by CanadianChick07
Summary: "The worst ones are always the kids. You gotta figure out how to deal with that," Hailey's training officer told her on her first week on the job. A kid basically dies in Hailey's arms and she has to deal with it. One shot. Upzek.


"Jay, you're not getting involved with a Marine out of Camp Pendleton," Hailey Upton muttered to her partner.

Jay scoffed. "Come on, I've done long distance before. She's totally badass and a great woman," he rebutted as he drove the truck down a narrow side street, as they were going to serve a warrant. "I can do a lot worse."

Upton shook her head. "I will tell you, I told you so, over and over again if you go through this. Jenna is great, she really is. But is getting involved with her when she's stationed in California, a really good idea? It's not."

Dispatch came over the radio. And the dispatcher had a little bit of a catch in her voice. That was never good. "All available units please respond to the train tracks on S Kedzie Avenue. Closest intersection is W 76 St. Reports of a child hit by train."

Hailey looked at Jay and looked at their GPS. They were about 3 minutes away. "Dispatch, plain clothes officers responding. We are 3 minutes out."

Jay pinned it as fast as he could to the scene. There were two vehicles already there, evidently stopped by the arms coming down because of the train in the road. Hailey and Jay jumped out as fast as they could. She ran to the victim, lying in the middle of the street. A bystander was cradling him in his arms but quickly got out of the way when he realized the cops were first on scene.

"Save him!" A teenage boy cried out. Jay went to go grab him.

Upton went to work on the boy. He didn't look more than 10. She felt a little pulse but he wasn't breathing. She immediately started CPR but she didn't have much hope. "Jay, where is that ambulance!" She screamed at him.

She was praying the entire time and doing CPR while Jay held his teenage brother. "His name is Anthony! He's only 8!"

For what seemed like an eternity, although it wasn't, she finally heard the sirens of the ambulance and fire trucks and other police cars in the distance. Hailey kept doing CPR on Anthony, hoping to keep him alive. Every moment was too long. She forgot how hard CPR was to do it, it had been a long time sine she had to do this on someone living, but she was determined to keep Anthony alive so they could get him to the hospital.

"It's my fault, I was with him," she could hear the brother's voice, sobbing into Jay's chest. "I told him to wait for me to cross the tracks!"

Jay had noticed the train operator in the corner of his eye, with a bystander who was comforting him, and immediately felt for him. This was purely an accident from what it seemed like right now. "What's your name?" He asked the brother, hoping to God that the paramedics showed up soon. He could also hear the sirens.

"Christian. Don't let him die! Please help him!"

"Hailey!" Atwater yelled at her, as he ran over. Upton knew him and Burgess weren't far behind them when they got the Dispatch call. "Let me take over."

"I'm good, Kev. Just get those paramedics here. And give them a police escort to Children's," Hailey snapped back. She could here the paramedics coming over.

"Oh shit," Sylvie Brett said as she rushed in. "We gotta get him to the closest hospital."

Atwater and Casey helped load Anthony onto the stretcher and made a path for Brett and her partner to load him into the ambulance before him and Burgess climbed into the SUV to give them a police escort.

Upton finally stood up and looked at her bloody hands and just about wept. She saw she was covered in blood. But she had a job to do. She turned around to see Jay and Christian headed toward the truck quickly. "I'm going to take him to Children's," Jay shouted back at her. She was about to tell him to do that but evidently he read her mind already.

She took a deep breath in and could see Adam approaching with the train operator. She imagined Voight and Antonio were around somewhere. It wasn't an Intelligence case but because the warrant they were serving was so close to the scene, they were the first Detectives on scene.

"Is he going to make it?" The train operator asked, quietly, so only Ruzek and Upton could hear him.

Upton shrugged very softly. "I'm not sure. I'm not a doctor," she said honestly. She hoped to hell that kid was fighter and was going to make it but she had her doubts.

Ruzek took control of the situation a little more. "Harry was explaining to me what happened. The train crossing arms went down, lights and bells on. And running across the tracks was Anthony. Harry thinks he got spooked on once the arms and bells came down and he panicked."

Harry finished it for Ruzek. "He was confused on where to go. I blew my horn but that confused him more. I slammed on the brake, but…"

"Trains can't stop on a dime," Upton finished for him.

"He started running and then doubled back to where his brother was," Harry said, tears now coming from his eyes. Upton put her hand on his shoulder to comfort him, although they were still covered in Anthony's blood. "I couldn't stop in time."

Upton looked at Ruzek, who was thankfully taking notes. "It's not your fault. At all. It was an accident," Upton told Harry.

Ruzek reiterated her words. "It was an accident. It was certainly not your fault. The city is going to provide you with the best counseling we can get. This was an accident," Ruzek said in the most kindest way Hailey had ever heard him speak.

Crowley had gotten on scene quick and took control a little more. "I just want to reiterate what these guys have said. It was an accident."

"Thanks ma'am," Harry said, trying to look Crowley in the eye but unable to. "I certainly don't feel that way."

"Let me get you somewhere safe," Crowley said, taking Harry's arm. "We're gonna do everything we can for you." Upton and Ruzek were sure glad it was Commander Crowley here instead of Brennan. Crowley could at least have and show empathy.

The accident hadn't even happened 20 minutes ago but the traffic unit had shown up to take over the investigation. The ranking member, Sergeant Pete Barber, had approached Ruzek and Upton, now that Crowley had taken Harry to her vehicle.

"Sergeant Barber," he introduced himself.

"Officer Ruzek, Detective Upton," Ruzek shook Barber's hand. Barber just looked at the bloody mess that Upton was and gave her a nod of hello.

Even the Sergeant who had undoubtedly seen a lot looked rattled by this accident. "Was that the train operator?"

Ruzek nodded. "Harry LaPointe. He's an absolute mess."

Barber took a deep breath. "I would be too. Did you get notes from him?"

Ruzek nodded again. "Yeah."

"I'll get them from you later and I'll find out where Crowley took him so I can interview him later. You two are also on my list as witnesses and the first responding officers," Barber warned.

Ruzek and Upton both handed over cards. "Thanks," Barber said, sincerely. "Go get cleaned up. I hope the kid makes it."

"Me too," Upton said, softly before Ruzek guided her away from the crime scene.

They were half way to the truck when Ruzek's phone went off. He quickly answered and just as quickly hung up. "DOA," Ruzek's voice came out, barely above a whisper.

They made it to the back of the truck before Hailey lost it. She had never been one for showing emotions publicly, but as soon as Ruzek hugged her and softly told her to "let it all out," she absolutely lost it. She clenched onto the back of his shirt and cried into his chest, bystanders be damned.

* * *

"Checked your house, called Otis and you weren't at Molly's. If you weren't here, I was going to trace your phone," Ruzek said, as he entered a 24 hour gym. He must have flashed his badge to get in.

Hailey slowed down the treadmill and glared at him. "I don't want fucking company tonight, Adam," she said, still at a fast walk.

Ruzek leaned against the next treadmill. "Except that's what you're going to get tonight. You should not be alone."

"Going to make my fucking decisions for me?" She challenged.

He sighed, fully expecting to be her human punching bag. And he was okay with that. "Tonight? Yeah, I am. Because I'm going to take you to your house, we are going to drink a six pack of beer and only that, and watch the last few innings of the Cubs at the Mariners." He knew Antonio was with Halstead right now. They had some sort of idea how Halstead would take it but Upton was the wild card. They knew she would shut down but the rest of Intelligence knew she couldn't do that to herself. Hence why Ruzek was in a gym, coaxing Upton to getting off the treadmill.

"An eight year old boy died in my arms tonight," Hailey shot back.

He looked at her, straight in the eye. "And that's exactly why you are not spending the night alone tonight, Hailey. I don't care how many time I have to say that."

She got off the treadmill because she didn't want to cause a scene. It was only 9 pm so there were some people still working out. She would have also thrown Ruzek to the ground for showing up here if there weren't people around. "Fine," she said.

"I'll be waiting by the front door," was all he replied as she headed for the change room. There was probably a backdoor and on any other night, he wouldn't put it past her to sneak out that way but tonight was not any other night. She was emotionally exhausted and spent.

"I'll meet you at my place," was the only thing she said to him when she walked out of the gym.

And he followed her back to her place, carrying pizza and beer because he knew Upton and he knew she wouldn't be cooking tonight or eating for that matter. She silently handed him a cold beer and grabbed two plates as he put the pizza down on them and carried them to the couch. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV and found the Cubs/Mariners game in the bottom of the 5th.

They sat in silence for awhile, watching the game and watching the Mariners put a beating on the Cubs, before he broke it. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She didn't even look at him. "Nope."

"You're going to have to talk about it with someone," Ruzek commented.

She finally looked at him. "I know. And thanks." She actually was thankful. She was very thankful he showed up looking for her. Because her next stop after the gym was Molly's, gym sweat be damned. And she had some serious plans to drink herself into not remembering what happened. Ruzek had interrupted those plans but that was a good thing. He was right. She shouldn't be alone, dealing with the fact that all her efforts didn't work on an eight-year-old boy. Nobody should have to do that alone.

* * *

 **AN: The worst ones for first responder's are always the kids. Just my way of thinking how Intelligence would have handled a fatality involving a child.**


End file.
